carved angel

i just spent the last hour and a half or so at the hospice down the street at the terri schiavo protest. to be honest, i didn't want to become involved, because the whole point is that it's no one's business but her family's. but shadow wanted to see what the fuss was about, so we parked at a grocery store and walked down to check it all out.

it was really weird.

people were praying in circles, there were men in long robes walking around, tons of police, even more media, and some of the most zombified people i've ever seen. i just wanted to get the hell out of there, but shadow heard a lone voice toward the front of the crowd: a liberal! there were two others with him, so we joined them. five, in a crowd of i don't know how many. the people around us got pissed and started singing, so i joined the guy chanting. after a while, i felt really bad for the poor people trying to die quietly in the building behind me, so i shut up. it was seriously creepy, though. i could feel so many angry eyes. i could feel their hatred of us and what we stood for, so palpably. it was a very strange feeling.

i'm having mixed feelings about the whole thing. i think my reason for not wanting to go in the first place was valid. it isn't our business. it isn't their business. and we just added to the crowd keeping people from getting any rest. on the other hand, out of all of those people, there were only five of us. people from all over the world were there, and no one was speaking on terri's behalf. on the behalf of anyone who wants the government to stay out of their damn business. so i'm torn as to whether even being there was the right thing to do.

but it was still an interesting experience. i've never been in a real protest, and i've never been surrounded by so many people that disagree with me so strongly. i thought i knew what that felt like just by virtue of ever leaving the house, but now i really know. i can't say i felt i've done something noble, however. after she dies, no one will remember this. no amount of chanting on either side will change anything.

i guess i should also explain, in case anyone has been wondering about it due to all my posting lately, that i'm not happy that someone's dying. i think it's terrible that this ever even had to happen. i could rant about society and how it drove her to want to be thin so badly she would die for it. how the quest to fit an unattainable ideal was what ultimately killed her. i think it's terrible that she has to die of starvation/dehydration. this is exactly why i think euthanasia should be legal, so you can go to sleep forever after a simple shot.

i also think all the hypocricy surrounding this whole circus is stupid and sickening. all these people who were out there for terri, protesting her murder, are the same people that probably cheer when so many iraqis die. it's okay for iraqis and criminals to die. it's okay for destitute people all over the world to die of starvation. this one woman had a sign that said something like, "court sanctioned murder is not okay." and shadow was like, "unless it's the death penalty, right?" and she just smirked at him like the smug cow she was. a whole group of them were all excited coz a tv camera had trained on them for a bit. bloody hell. that's why a lot of them are probably there to begin with.

anyway, it's midnight and i have to eat. i just thought i'd share this experience. i'd have pictures, but shadow was the only one with a mobile and he forgot to save them after taking them. :annoyed: