carved angel

i got up a bit earlier than i'd have liked, so i'm kind of tired.

i've been reading various random lj's this afternoon, just for the hell of it. there is no better place for blogging drama, i tell you. and, like a good episode of the jerry springer show, it made me feel sooo much better about my life and myself. ohhahaha...

really, it's interesting to read some people, because then when you find yourself hearing about something utterly bizarre, or thinking that your country couldn't possibly be populated by that many idiots, you remember what you read on lj. then nod, because it all makes sense, and move on with your day, a little sadder and a little wiser.

seriously, if i had to listen to these people in real life, for any length of time, i'd commit seppuku. also, reading blogs in general has taught me that people can't seem to figure out why they keep having the same problems again and again. (i admitted to doing this myself, you know.) some people actually learn something, and it's so satisfying to see them go on to lead relatively good lives. others, however, seem to be stuck in some kind of quagmire from which they will never escape... a lot of it has to do with my usual pet peeve: whining every other post because you can't afford one of life's necessities, like rent, then spending all the other posts talking about all the clubbing you've been doing or the restaurants you've been eating at. one of my more newish annoyances has to do with people trying to have these weird, convoluted relationships, then complaining because they can't handle it. like they're just stuck in the situation. here's an idea: if you don't want to share your s.o. with someone else, don't. tell them it's either/or, and then live with whatever happens next. i can tell you that if shadow ever asked me to go find us a girlfriend, i'd probably kick his ass. hey, if you want to be in a relationship with three other people and can make that work, good on you. if you or anyone else in the relationship is struggling to make it work, then you're probably not cut out for it, and you need to admit that to yourself instead of trying to look cool and progressive, or trying to please some asshole that's just looking to get it wherever he can, and have your blessing for doing so.

i'm bi, but when i got married, i decided that the part of me that likes girls is fine and good, but would pretty much have to live a life of celibacy. (does that make that half a lesbian nun?) anyway, it sucks and it's difficult at first, but you kind of get over it. i mean, you're human and you find other people attractive, but that doesn't mean that sleeping with whoever you want is a good idea. especially if you're already in a relationship. despite the argument that humans (men) are naturally inclined to spread their seed everywhere, i think that for most people, polyamory is pretty stupid. most of the time, it's the women in these relationships that seem to get the shit end of the stick, anyway. which makes some sense, i guess, because it's usually men that want to sleep with anything with a pulse. you can say i don't understand this movement all you like, but i think i understand it pretty well, and it's just plain stupid. i'd feel a bit better about it if it weren't the women that always end up disenfranchised. like i said, if you can make it work, great. most people can't, because the idea behind it is inherently flawed. patriarchy isn't cool, ladies, and this is just a thinly veiled representative of that ideal.

by the way, my comments system works now, so if you want to bitch about what i've said, go right ahead.

anyway, i've been listening to beck's sea change on launch lately, and it's a beautiful album. i love almost everything he's ever done, even though a lot of it was far out. he's proven that he can break the rules and make it work. on this album, it's just him and his voice and music are just so wonderful. i heard him sing and play the guitar on tv a couple years ago, and was just blown away at how awesome he was. i mean, i've been listening to stuff like mellow gold since i was 14, but this just seemed so new for him. also, whenever i see him anywhere, i remember the time i was visiting uncle steve and his family, and my cousin laura and i were watching the "loser" video, and steve came in and said, "who gave a 12-year-old a band?" you probably had to have been there, but it's still funny to me.

i'm still drinking strawberry margaritas, and probably will all weekend. or until the mix runs out. whichever comes first. we bought some orange juice, though, so at least there are screwdriver fixins. (you can yell at me when i do this every weekend.)

oh, and, like you care, but when i stripped for my weigh-in this morning, i noticed that much of my back fat is gone. i used to have these bulges just above my waist (you know the ones - if a woman wears an ill-fitting bra, this area just looks terrible). well, mine are nearly gone. :yay: i can't believe the difference that exercise has made. i've avoided it for so long, but now that i'm actually doing it, i can pretty much eat what i like, and my body is toning up really quickly. there's always been some muscle there, but it's been in hiding for the past couple of years. it hasn't taken too long to reappear, thankfully. if only i could bring myself to exercise for two hours a day like my dad does, i could eat whole bags of chocolate, like he does. >_< seriously, i don't know how he can lift weights and do cardio that long.

okay, shadow is staring at my back, so i'd better go.