carved angel

[music|little dudes - pee shy]

i fixed the format again, as you can see.

anyway, last night's uu101 meeting was neat. sohei actually looks forward to going. too bad he can't look forward to going to church as well. :nyah: i still have a lot of questions, but i have a feeling they'll be answered at the next meeting.

and, since i was starving, i cheated like mad on my diet last night. last week, they had south beach-friendly snacks, so i just figured i'd eat when i got there. this week, though, there were only cookies. so i ate cookies. then we went to mcdonalds for dinner, and instead of ordering a salad, i ate a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets. i didn't drink any soda, though. :blush: see, on south beach, the first two weeks are really strict. and if you cheat, you're supposed to start over again. well, my two weeks are up on monday. and if you think i'm starting over again, you're crazy. besides, the whole point of phase one is to detox, get rid of cravings, and take off water weight. i did detox and lose my water weight. i lost ten pounds in a week, as of monday. but then i abruptly quit losing weight, because my body thinks i'm starving it. i know my body, especially as it relates to diets, and when i stop losing weight, i actually have to take in more calories to start losing again. so my metabolism starts working again and all. and i never get rid of cravings, no matter what. feh.

i still think diets are stupid. i felt so much better when i was exercising every day. on phase one, i'm too weak and tired to work out at all. it even says in the book not to work out during phase one. yeah, that's healthy. but i do it anyway, because being fat isn't "acceptable." and while i don't usually care what society thinks, i get really sick of everyone telling me to lose weight. and, frankly, as much as i like my body the way it is, i don't like all that stuff under my chin. booty = okay, double chin = not okay. it's not even like i want to be thin. i just want to be back at the weight i spent most of my life at. which is still considered overweight, but i don't care. it really would be easier, too, if everyone would just fuck off about it. the more people harp on it, the less i want to bother. paradoxical, yeah, but the whole thing is stupid, so who gives a fuck?